


Belated Mourning

by SaraJaye



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Allura (Voltron) Lives, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Break Up, Crying Shiro (Voltron), Gen, Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Post-Series, Regret, Survivor Guilt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-27
Updated: 2019-05-27
Packaged: 2020-03-20 10:20:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18990724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SaraJaye/pseuds/SaraJaye
Summary: After the war, the loss of Adam finally sets in.





	Belated Mourning

**Author's Note:**

> _Any, Any, the more you hold back the harder it hits when you finally let go_

During a war, you didn't have time to cry over the dead, and the dead wouldn't want that anyway. Ulaz wanted them to find the Blade's base and form an alliance, while Thace wanted Keith to escape with his life. Even Lotor, who'd bravely given up his very existence to atone for his sins and preserve Allura's life, had told them not to waste their time pitying him.

And Adam, regardless of how he and Shiro felt about one another at the end, wouldn't want Shiro to cry for him when there were battles left to fight. But the war was over now, and when he visited the memorial wall for the second time he felt the loss settling in. Thick and uncomfortable, like a fog over his heart.

"Adam..."

And he was sinking to his knees, body wracked with the sobs he thought would never come as over a year's worth of suppressed grief pushed its way to the forefront. He'd never even gotten to say goodbye, or apologize for letting him walk away. Even if he was going to die anyway, if they'd gotten back to Earth sooner he could have at least let Adam know he never stopped caring about him.

_What was going through your mind in those last moments?_

He'd let him leave. Hadn't even tried to save their relationship, just let him walk out, and pushed him out of his mind for the past few years. But even that couldn't spackle over the Adam-shaped hole in his heart.

He remembered hanging upside down, near death on that icy planet, whispering his name. Thinking he would die, that he wished he could go back and apologize and tell Adam he was _right_ all along.

_If I'd stayed like you wanted me to, would you still be alive?_

The tears continued to fall unabated, the sorrow choking him as his mind swirled with questions that would never be answered. If he'd stayed, if Adam had gone with them, if they'd gotten back sooner, if he'd tried harder to save their relationship, _if, if, if._

He didn't know how much time had passed when the worst of his grief had abated. He felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up to see Iverson's sympathetic glance.

"He was a good man." Shiro rubbed his eyes on his sleeve as he slowly stood up.

"One of the best there was."

"He'd be real proud of you, though," Iverson said. "You saved Earth, the universe, all of existence. He's out there somewhere, and...he's watching us."

Shiro managed a smile. Out there, along with the spirits of the original Paladins and Ulaz and Thace and countless others who'd died to protect something.

"And...in an alternate reality, maybe we have a second chance." He shook his head. "Damn it, Slav."

"He's not wrong, though." Iverson patted his shoulder. "Come back inside, it's late and it's gonna be a cold one tonight." Shiro nodded, taking one last loving look the wall. Discretely, he kissed his fingertips and pressed them gently to Adam's picture.

_I'll never forget you, and I'll never regret loving you._

He followed Iverson back to the Atlas.


End file.
